Why, why, can I not be an ascetic for a while, instead of always teetering on the edge of wanting complete solitude for work and reading, and, so much, so much, the gestures of hands and words of other human beings.
“
| — | Sylvia Plath, “Cambridge Notes” |
5.29.12
Today was okay, then in the afternoon got a bit dreary.
School was nothing special. Got an 84% on my Pre-Calc test - not too bad! But had part two of the Chem final and probably failed. :/
After school I went shoppping to T.J. Maxx and bought quite a bit of pretty, summer clothes. See earlier post for pictures if you so please. Unfortunately, I really don’t have anywhere to wear pretty clothes and no one at my school to really dress up for. So I may just stop showering and wear sweats to school everyday like half the girls do (and they have boyfriends!). Ha just kidding - I could never to that. Showers are essential for Grace’s well-being.
OCD’s been getting a bit worse with numbers - especially yesterday, while reading a magazine (forgot to put in yesterday’s journal entry). So tedious.
And now I’m alone, debating going for a night run. If I can get my homework done and am not half-asleep, I’d like to. I really need to find some sort of outlet for these feelings and just be free.
♥ - Grace
5.28.12
‘Accidently’ fell asleep yesterday; what’s new?
So yesterday was a Monday, but I didn’t have school because it happened to be Memorial Day. I went to a flea market with my dad at around 7:00 A.M. This is a yearly tradition. I ended up buying three pretty sterling silver and turqoise Native American-esque rings. I’ll try to post a picture soon(ish). I walked pretty quickly up and down the rows, and got done almost an hour before my dad. Slow walkers annoy me immensely.
Also that day my grandma came over for a ‘cookout’ dinner. I did not partake in the meal. I’m a vegetarian and rarely do I eat meals with people anymore. It’s just not something I do.
♥ - Grace
I obviously have a thing for lace, cream, and/or sheer tops. Too bad the only place I have to wear these lovelies is my bedroom, and the only person to impress, my cat. :p Oh well, today’s shopping trip let me stop thinking for a time.
What I fear most, I think, is the death of the imagination….If I sit still and don’t do anything, the world goes on beating like a slack drum, without meaning. We must be moving, working, making dreams to run toward; the poverty of life without dreams is too horrible to imagine…
“
| — | Sylvia Plath, “Cambridge Notes” |
My God, I’d love to cook and make a house, and surge force into a man’s dreams, and write, if he could talk and walk and work and passionately want to do his career. I can’t bear to think of this potential for loving and giving growing brown and sere in me.
“
| — | Sylvia Plath, “Cambridge Notes” |
